chenes…

Wala akong maisip na title so bahala na kayong umintindi, cguro naman mga matured na kayo kaya gets nyo na yan…sa totoo lang nabuburyo na ko sa araw2 na pinapasok ko dto sa office na wala naman talagang ginagawa na…kasi finish project na kami pero may site pa kaya kelangan may tumao pa din..e sa totoo lng un mga tao dito wala din namang ginagawa kundi mag facebook at kung anek2 pa…holy cow! its so boring talaga…panay na nga lng ako blog hop kasi wala ka naman pdeng paglibangan…masipag naman sana ako pagdating sa work e kaso mo wala na talagang gagawin…ang tanging iniwan lng na work pra sa kin e mag shred ng lahat ng files…pano na ito..2 mos pa ko mag work ng ganito…ayoko mag reklamo kasi mas mabuti na ito kesa nasa bahay ka lang na wala din ginagawa tas wla ka pa sweldo..mas lalong nakakabugnot yun…at least ito libreng internet at may sweldo pa tas panay lang chat kay my honey if available sya..kasi super duper mega over busy din sya nitong mga panahon na ito kasi nag uumpisa pa lng ang project sa taiwan…so small time lng ang pwede nyang ibigay sa kin…

ang tanging pinagkakaabalahan lng ng utak ko ngayon ay mag isip ng kung anong uulamin pag uwi ng bahay…hehehe..puros pagkain ang inaatupag ko kaya ang resulta eto busog sa lusog na ko…ang sarap kayang kumain, this is one of my past time …nagsisikipan na nga mga damit ko sa kin..ayoko naman mag diet, wala sa systema ko un…ako nmn e mabilis ding pumayat wag lng akong kumain ng matino at mag isip ng kung ano2 na halos mabaliw na ko..e papayat na ko in a split seconds…wehehehe..kaya sinasamantala ko na din ang ganitong pagkakataon at least may laman ako kesa sa dati na halos buto’t balat na ko…parang malnourish lng???lahat na kasi sila nagtatabaan tas ako wlang effect so dapat namn kahit pano may kalabasan ang pagiging talamak ko sa kaning lamig..hahaha

isa pang pinag aaksayahan ko ng oras sa gabi e ang manood sa youtube ng korean novela na “my husbands woman” di sya ganun ka kumpleto pero ok na din kesa wala..nakabili kasi ako ng dvd nun sa pinas pirated pero nabitin ako kasi di pala hangang ending yun…parang first part lng sya ng series so buti na lng nung isang araw nag search me sa youtube..swerte naman meron palang nag upload at may dubbed pa in tagalog…ilang gabi ko na din syang pinapanood kaso nakakatulugan ko din…pero matatapos ko na din sya…ngyn nag iisip ako anong susunod kong hahanapin na korean novela..napanood ko na din sa youtube minsan un full house na naging favorite ko din dati…kahit cguro ilang ulit kong panoorin un di ako mag sasawa ang cute kasi nilang tingnan…

nakakatawa nmn ako kasi ang hilig kong mag download ng mga bagong kanta ngyn..si juding nga nagugulat kasi minsan kinakanta ko un mga sounds sa car nya…di sya makapaniwala na alam ko un…e music lover kaya ako..kya na appreciate ko un mga latest songs from the radio..kahit sino pang kumanta nyan basta maganda sa pandinig ko gets ko yan…medyo madami dami na din akong nadownload..minsan binigyan pa ko ni kat ng idea kung anong kantang pde sa panlasa ko….so ayun download ko naman agad sya…haaayyyy! ano pa kaya pde ko gawin sa 2 mos na andto ako at maging makabuluhan naman ang pagiging loyal employee ko…hehehe

Interesting Personality…

 

Everytime i read about this stuff,  it opens my mind to the reality that i am complacently a Taurenian.   This is the interesting characteristic of a Taurean, that I have read in the newspaper today…if you cant follow my litany..here goes:

ASTROLOGY 101: WHAT ARE TAURUS PEOPLE LIKE?: Venus-ruled Taurus is attuned to the bountiful beauty of the earth. Taurus is keenly aware of what pleases the senses and from an early age starts to discern the very best that life has to offer from anything sub par. This pleasure-seeking sign believes in appreciating the splendorous array of what’s available. Life is for the living! According to Taurus, lovely experiences should be had each day. Luxury is a state of mind. The phase that accompanies Taurus is “I have” and many Taurus people are collectors. They are excellent at learning all there is to know about the things they collect because this helps them maintain their possessions, as well as find value and enjoyment in them. The symbol of Taurus is the bull and they can definitely be as stubborn as one. They can be strongly individualistic, unafraid to take a different opinion or direction than others in a group. However, they also can go along with the group if it pleases them, seems like more fun and is their own idea. Taurus rules the throat and often those born under a Taurus sun have an interesting voice because it is particularly strong, soothing or unique in character.

 

This is apparently correct for me.  I will not contest what is written here, it holds true to what I really am.  Every word used  is like a mirror of myself. 

 

Extremes

Last night i had this uneasy feeling again towards my honey…with this i found myself crying in my small sanctuary…i dont know what is the reason why im acting like this…thinking about a lot of things..like he doesnt love me enough or he is not that into me…he is just playing with my feelings and so on, so forth… 

I have this stupid notion in my mind that keeps on lingering…about my honey not in love with me…its just his front, to make me fall for him deeply…theres this kinda devils advocate inside me, even though i have an outlook of being positive, i cant help but entertain this…

He went online last night, we chatted for an hour and a half…we put cam so we can see each other then…i miss him so much and he also did miss me…its still the person i have loved, still loving, and will be loving for the rest of my life…

He showed me his room in the hotel..its kind a cozy and quiet, the ambiance is nice its like you want to sleep when you step into the room…I also showed him my place, he was slightly lost becoz last time my room was so big then…the reason i already transferred to nino’s place…we manage to stay together in his room, he adopted me for 2 months until my work in marjan is finish…

My honey is so bubly when i saw him in cam..smiling, making faces like me..hehehe…this is what i called extremes..one side im crying like a river then on the other side happy, laughing so hard with my honey…

Past 1 am, taiwan time, he ask permission to go..bcoz he have to sleep already theres work early in the morning…we bid our last msg to each other, then went offline..

I was wrong…

Yesterday i posted something that i should have not entertained in the first place…it is about my honey, we havent talk for 2 days..i did assumed that he left me and had fallen out of love but he didnt..i was totally insane of sticking this in my mind whenever my honey goes loco…thank goodness i got my insanity back…yesterday he went online and send me msgs on skype but i could not reply because i was outside busy tranferring my things to my new place…

I was losing air, going after my breath when i used the stairs holding this 2 bags of my things, when nino told me that my honey is already sending me msgs and keeps on calling me in skype…so i saw his msgs, he did remember our 1st month anniversary…(my heartbeat is getting really fast now) i was at ease with his loving words…haaay…my honey makes me feel high with it…now i can imagine why he is upset with me because of thinking negatively, over reacting on an instance that he could not chat me.  he said that internet connection in taiwan is really bad, even the emails are not going thru. he made some explaination about getting ready to start the operation when the ship arrive on site.

I promise him last night that i will not be paranoid and pathetic anymore…i hope i can do it…he will be very busy soon if they will start the work, but he’ll find time for me. holy cow! get get aw! hahaha..kilig to the bones

Lipat bahay..

eto na naman ako after ilang months na pag stay sa aking lungga…lilipat na me ngyn kina juding ang aking nag iisang bestfrend sa RAK…humigit kumulang mga 10 mos din akong nagkuta sa aking lungga…maayos sana un room na un e at ayokong umalis dun kung akong papipiliin kaso ang mahal ng renta kelangan kong maging praktikal, wag masyadong gumastos pa sa natitirang 2 buwang ilalagi ko pa dto sa UAE… o ha..shushal nga yun room na un, may bathtub at malinis ang toilet tas konti lng kaming gumagamit nun…tsaka di crowded ang kitchen nakakagalaw ako kung kelan ko gsto..di un katulad ng iba na tlgang kelangan mong mag antay ng turn mo pra makapag luto..swerte ko nga maaga ang uwi ko sa mga ksama ko kaya nauuna akong gumalaw sa kitchen…masasabi kong ok naman ang mga flatmates ko..kasi nakasama ko sila sa mga piling okasyon…e kasi paminsan may toopak ako na aloof sa knila…minsan pag nakaka chikka ko naman sila tawanan kami tsaka pag nakikijamming ako sa inuman e kwelang kwela sila kaya hagalpak ako ng tawa…e si ako naman e masayahing tao din..konting kibot basta right timing ang punchline e panigurado tatawa ako kahit corny ang jokes…malakas kasi ang humor sense ko..hehehe… naku mamimiss ko un mga panahon na un…mga moment na tahimik wlang maingay sa labas…sobra kasi tahimik dun sa place na un..paminsan lng mag ingay pag trip nilang mag magic sing..pero di naman ako naiistorbo kasi may sarili naman akong music sa loob ng room ko…nakakatulog naman ako kahit maingay sila..hehehe…di bale 2 mos lng nmn akong titira kina juding ang worry ko lng e baka di me magkaron ng time pra sa sarili ko..may pagka loner kasi ako paminsan..gusto ko mag isa lng ako…hanap ng pde ko pag ka abalahan mag isa..ayoko ng masyadong masanay na maraming kasama…ewan ba..may ugali din talaga ko minsan..ayoko ng napipilitan akong gawin ang mga bagay pra lng sbihin na ok ako…i just want to be me..take it or leave it..this is meeh!!! accept me for what i am…not for who you would like me to be…ugali ko din ang manahimik at wag mag salita..ito ang mga panahon na autistic lng ako…may sariling mundo..oo autistic ako..tanggap ko un, sana nga lng matanggap nila un, yan e kung totoo ko silang kaibigan pero pag hindi sowee na lng…

*****

ibang topic na ito pero gusto ko na din sabhin dto pra iisang blog na lng gawin ko…almost 3 days na kaming di nag uusap ni B2…hindi nya ko natitiis na di kausapin alam ko kaya sobrang nag iisip ako bakti hindi sya nagpaparamdam…nag msg ako sa knya pero di nya sinagot…cguro ito na un signal na inaantay ko na hudyat para isipin kong tapos na un sa min dalawa…kaya eto umiyak na ko ng umiyak para maibsan un sama ng loob ko dahil hindi nya ako pinapansin…wala naman akong magagawa, cguro wla lng syang lakas ng loob para sabihin sa kin ang mga bagay..mabait kasi sya ayaw nyang makasakit ng damdamin ng iba kaya yun na lng naiisip nyang paraan ang wag na lng akong kausapin..napag usapan na din naman namin ito dati na kung ano ang sign na nafall out of love na sya sa kin…so ito na cguro yun…so tama na ang pagpapantasya ko na mag work ang relasyon namin…o well ganyan lang talaga ang buhay..have to move on…umiikot ang mundo e..bukas hindi naman na ganito ang feeling ko…i will overcome this thing i know…fighter ako e…i will..i will..i will…nobody can help me except myself..woooaaaahhhh!!!..go go go girl..hehehe..pampalakas ng loob??????? kung ayaw e di wag pilitin…sino ba naman ako???si elenitamaldita na luka2..hahaha…goodbye b2..goodluck…i know you will find someone bitter better…

Nagparamdam..

weeeeeeeeeeeh!!! nagparamdam na si my honey last night from taiwan…so syempre ang my love sobrang happy na naman..sinagot nya un offline msg ko sa knya..so safe naman syang dumating sa taiwan…halos 24hrs daw un travel ..hwaaaaat??? syet! ganun ktagal????? eh 8hours nga lng buraot na ko..un pa kayang almost 24hrs…kapagod un ah…pero buti na lng at naka survive ang my honey…

Kinamusta ko ang taiwan sa knya..ok lng daw..different from UAE..he is still finding his way…on where to buy foods and stuff…ganun nmn talaga kasi bago pa sya sa lugar pero matutunan din nya un pagtagal…

so ayan chat galore na naman kaming dalawa ng mga kalandian namin…nag open ako ng cam kasi gsto ko ipakita sa knya un YCO shirt na suot ko na nmn sa site kahapon..dala din daw nya un cam nya kaso nsa luggage pa di nya pa na unload  ang mga gamit nya…miss na miss na daw nya ko…lalo na ng makita nya ulit ako sa cam…gsto nya ko yakapin, halikan, at kung anek2 pa..hehehe..how sweeet my honey..ang galing talagang mambola…binibilog masyado ang ulo ko…

Sobrang miss ko na talaga sya..kaya kagabi sbi ko sa kanya dont make me cry of thinking how much i really miss you…kaya ayun nag sorry at tumigil sa kakasabing miss nya ko…habang naglalaba ako at kahit gutom na ko e inuna kong ichat sya kasi sobrang late na dun..konting moment na lng at klngan na nyang matulog pra makapag pahinga at papasok sya ng maaga pa kinabukasan…4hours advance ang difference ng taiwan sa UAE..same time sa pinas

Staying…

i am staying for another 2 months on the site of marjan as per instruction of my boss…akala ko aalis na tlga ko at iiwan ko na ang DI this April…ngunit datapwat at sapagkat biglang nagbago ang mga pangyayari…

Last March lahat kami nakatanggap ng notice letter na hangang 17 of April na lng kami mag work sa Marjan kasi finish project na..si juding lng ang hindi nakatanggap..so expected nmin lahat sya ang maiiwan…but due to the turn of events ako pala ang maiiwan…kasi si juding pinag force leave starting May 1 at 2 months syang vacation w/ pay..o db ang shushal!!!!..ako nmn have to work ksama ang mga dana pipol..within this week aalis na si sukur ang aming driver at si jeetu ang personnel assistant..tas pagdating ng May 1 wala na din si juding so ako na lng matitira for marjan…kalungkot naman wla ng pipol..anewiez, now i still have 2 mos pra makapag ipon ng pera na iuuwi sa aking angkan..

buti na lng pala tinawagan ko si boss ko pra dun sa notice pay na di namin matatanggap at bigla nya akong naisip na dpat akong maiwan sa marjan kaya nag bigay agad sya instruction dun sa finance manager nmin na maiiwan ako…last minute sinave ako ng boss ko…kundi nakaalis na ko ng marjan..hehehe…smantalang nung umagang un nagtampurorot pa ko kay juding kasi sbi nya db terminated na kayo..sbi ko sobra ka naman di nmn ganun..wala lng kaming ppuntahan na project kaya stand by lng kami..tas biglang sya pala ang maforce leave kasi wla din sya lilipatan na project..hehehe..pero sya din naman nagtulak sa kin pra tawagan ng oras na un si pudra about sa notice pay…so quits lng..hehehe…so nakaganda pa sa kin un pagtawag na yun…tas kay juding pa ko titira for the next 2 mos kasi nga tinerminate ko na un contract ko dun sa bahay ko..kasi sobrang mahal e..

Nabanggit ko na din naman kay my honey yun extended stay ko sa Marjan..kaso plano ko sana by june magkita kami ni my honey sa pinas kahit 3 days lng sya dun..kasi lapit lng ng taiwan sa pinas isang oras lng by plane tsaka mura lng ang airfare..but anyways if destiny permits us to meet again then it will be done..ehehehe..cheeesy…now, im so grateful that i still have work thanks to my pudra…

I will miss RAK

Sa totoo lng masyadong memorable sa kin ang ras al khaima… di ko akalain na dto ako dadalhin ng aking kapalaran…dto sa lugar na ito ko dinamdam lahat ng sakit na dulot ng nawasak na puso mula sa nagdaang relasyon.  ngunit datapwat maganda naman ang naging resulta nya…dahil napaka bilis kong naka recover sa sitwasyon na un, parang isang araw lng nagdaan na sumakit ang aking puson puso…

first time kong makapasok sa isang company na pinapaligiran ng mga kafafahan…true you are, may nakapukaw agad sa aking pansin…na curious ako sa knya kasi suplado…kya sya ang aking naging crush…sya ang ginawa kong inspirasyon…pero kinalaunan nawala din ang aking pagnanasa dahil sa nagkaron sya ng gf sa site ang babaitang kina aasaran ko kaya ayan nawalang bula ang pagtingin pururot ko sa knya…

Nang biglang may isang taong nagpa pansin naman sa kin…akala ko nga dati abnoy lng sya kasi nga ngiti ng ngiti habang nadaan sa harap ng table ko…so mabait naman si ako kaya pinansin ko sya ng konti…at history na un sumunod na mga pangyayari dahil sa ngyn im madly in love with him..o db! san ka pa! and he is also in love with me…yeeee!!!(kilig) kagabi nag chat kmi ni my honey hay naku mga baliw lng tlga kami..ganito cguro umarte ang mga walng magawang lovebirds kung ano2 ang pumapasok sa utak…sana si my honey na nga ang other piece of my heart so my life will be complete…

o db dami nangyaring maganda sa kin sa rak, thanks to papa jesus for everything…at present im leaving rak and going to my next destination kasi tpos na project namin..isa pa sa gsto kong ikwento ang aking boss na super kaduper bait sa kin..kaso may dark side din sya… nsabi ko ito kasi ako nakaranas ng pagiging maloko nya sa girlalu..but i still have high respect for him di nabawasan un…so i see to it that we are close professionally eventhough sometimes he tease and act flirtatous to me…

lapit na ko umuwi pero natatamad akong magligpit…bukas na lng sana sipagin ako..nakapaglaba nmn ako ngyn  so ok na yun for today…

Is this true?

I want to believe that we are in love…that this kind of thing will work, we are miles apart from each other.  i dont know if we’ll gonna see each other again, but im optimistic of the fact that if we really are meant to be then destiny will find its way. 

first time ko itong ganitong pakikipag relasyon, cguro nga i just trust him so much and proud to say that he will not stray or cheat on me.  he is a straight, clean living guy i’ve ever known, he value his principles and has a strong faith in the Lord. 

Pero magulo pa din ang utak ko pagdating sa knya.  tinatanong ko pa din pauluit-ulit ang puso at ang isip ko kung totoo ba ito. hindi ko alam, malay natin baka naman may kahinatnan lahat ng ito.  sa tingin ko naman sa knya di naman sya naglalaro…minsan nga pag may tinatanong ako sa knya iba na un iniisip nya, natatakot sya baka kung anong sasabihin ko. if i will break it off.

its a great feeling that i made somebody happy, it made my heart so much bigger.  if and when this thing went deeper and serious thats the time i have to think again, but for now i have to deal with it lightly.

Be loving and caring enough to my honey, this is what i have to do now.  i want him to feel my presence even if we are not together.  dont entertain negative thoughts or it will just ruin everything.

 i know he loves me i can feel it, he acts on how  I should be treated.. sometimes small things he really should explain even if i dont needed it. i dont know whats with my honey but he can easily pick up my signals, if im not in the mood, if im upset with him.

We have different cultures, different backgrounds, different upbringing but still we manage to get along.  he is young and a bit childish, me on the otherhand old and a lot childish..hehehe..thats why our friendship develop into something wonderful,  or i guess he was pushed to enter into the next level by me. i dont think so!! he felt the love and realized it thats why he expressed it. Yeeeeee…kilig!!

i love my honey, thanks for accepting me for what i am..for bearing with all my tantrums. please take good care of my heart.

B2 leaves

It was a not so good day yesterday, why? because its the last day of my ever deary honey on site.  i dont know what i was feeling yesterday, as if i’m numb, point blank…i just go with the flow on what is happening.  

The other night i made a letter for him, bought a card that i  really think fits all the written words to say.  I gave it yesterday when he was alone in survey room.  I told him to read it when he is in the plane already, then i was about to go when he asked for a kiss..and so we did, it was a good kiss, just simple but full of sincerety, i closed my eyes to feel the electricity brought by it.  He ask me if we could take picture of us together but nino doesnt want to, so i said we try asking kuya jimmy instead, so the picture was taken inside the survey room again with kuya jim as the photo shooter..b2 is so shy that he couldnt put his arms around my shoulder..hehehe..as if kuya jim doesnt know whats the real score between the two of us..

Before he left office i went with them to tour the Al Marjan site for the last time.  B2 is really playful thou, when we are touring he always tap my legs when his buddy is not looking..hehehe..after 15 minutes of driving around the site we went back to office to get some shirts of marjan for them to bring…we really are flirtatious, we kissed again when fazlul went out first. 

On the way home with nino, we talk about the idea me sending B2 at the airport. so i text him to ask if a can send him, then he said its ok.. here’s are txt conversation.

B1: Boss can i send you to airport?

B2: ah, if you want can join, but will be late leaving at around 22.xxx

B1:who is your driver?

B2:Ashiq will drive me with my car..

B1: ah ok

(trying calling ashik)

B1: ashik is not answering his fone can you call him to pass by me

B2:cant reach him.

B1:juzz pass by me if your wid him already ha.

B2:ok depending how late he will be. will he found it strange?

B1: its does not matter he will leave Di wen he does not have work anymore.

B2: Maybe try to send msg to pick you up. but will it not be late for you, bcoz i think they will drop my car there and later sukur will pick him up after bringing dave at 4 am

B1: (trying real hard not to be pissed) Why will they drop ur car at the airport. ok if u dont want i will not go anymore..

B2:my car is from avis auh and need to return

B1: (im pissed) nyt. take care.

B2: Going now. take care. sleep well. love you.xxx ( i was so shocked! this is the first time he said love you to me, my heart was beating so fast, i was really really happy)

B1: Bring my heart wid you ha. love u too. Mwah..

B2: you will be always on a very special place on my hart. my love

B2:miss you already : (

B1:I will miss my honey very much. the hugs and kissess. sleeping nxt to me the sound of ur breathing nd heartbeat wen we are so close.

B2:yes will miss it to, and holding you. touching your soft skin and more my love

B1: My honey u said this afternun dat ur bringing ur sim wid u.Can you rcv sms there?

B2:yes also. sorry for dealy was sleeping. kissss

B2: Waiting for the plane. take care and thanks for everything my love..xxx

B1: Take care always. i will miss everything abt you. love you to the nth power. have a safe flyt. tsup tsup tsup.

the end…i slept with a happy heart..

Today when i got in the office i found a box in my chair, it was the box i used to give something to B2 last xmas.  Mmmmm…i opened the box and it has small teddy bear inside, on the tag theres handwritten note “please take care of me like you take care of B2″ with love…

I was really smiling this morning…what a nice thing to start the day.